mamaness's Diaryland Diary

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Hush - Strongest Weakness


I was laying in bed trying to sleep and decided to write my entry for Hush since it is sunday.

This was a hard topic, My strongest weakness. First things that came to mind were my children, many would believe I give into them, but my belief is that I am responding to their needs. So that one was out. Next thing that came to mind was my ability to hang on to the past, and keep thinking of all the "what ifs" I tossed that idea out quickly also. Then the internet came to mind, and actually I wrote up an entry a few days ago on this, but never put it up here. Tonight while laying in bed I knew my answer. Sleep. Or rather, the amount I need vs the amount I get.

I know how important sleep is. I see the difference in my mood when I get a good nights sleep vs when I get a rotten one. Yet I still allow myself to stay up late, knowing that my darling sons will be waking me in the morning. Early. I choose to take the personal time for myself, instead of getting the amount of sleep I need. And here I am doing it again. Who knows when i would get five minutes to type this entry during the day. And then there is the fact that these thoughts are in my head right now. And they will go away by the morning.

So tonight, and practically any night, if you are up late. Expect to see me on ICQ or AIM. Because with the combination of my persistent insomnia, and the need for some personal me time, I'm sure I'll be here. Or at least over on the sofa reading a book.


Read all my HUSH submissions

1:30 a.m. - May twentieth 2001

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